Female to Male, Teenagers
Janine MacLean
A Parent's Worst Nightmare

My once beautiful daughter is now nineteen years old, homeless, bearded, in extreme poverty, sterilized, not receiving mental health services, extremely mentally ill, and planning a radial forearm phalloplasty (a surgical procedure that removes part of her arm to construct a fake penis).

A Parent's Worst Nightmare
Teenagers, Female to Male
Janine MacLean
Losing My Daughter

My heart is torn to bits.. of you had seen her poc's from my fb memories.. just one year ago, she was coming back after a uear long battle.. sorry for typo's cant see thru tears. I'll regroup because Im not done fighting for my baby.. I just need a rest!

Losing My Daughter
Teenagers, Female to Male
Janine MacLean
Olivia, Age 16

All the kids in the new school already had their cliques, and weren’t open to her, but there was one group that was willing to welcome newcomers, and that was the QSA kids. They were nice, smart kids, who were all a little quirky, and I was grateful that they were welcoming of Liv, but I noticed that they all seem to have created these micro-identities. For example, one girl called herself a demi-boy aromantic. They all seemed preoccupied with identity and presentation. Shortly after becoming friends with them, Liv cut her hair and dyed it pink. I saw this as normal teen exploration at this point. I was uneasy about how preoccupied she and her friends were with these issues.

Olivia, Age 16

Pre-Teen

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Affirming Leah

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Affirming Leah

The therapist advised that I should work towards accepting my “gender variant” kid as they are, and she could help me with that. I blindly thanked her for the advice, assuming she was the expert. I eagerly participated in joint talk therapy sessions. I willingly discussed gender topics with Leah and listened to her feelings with an open mind. I made efforts to use her pronouns, and embraced her new name. I researched and learned from trans-identifying individuals, especially autistics, most part of the “neurodiversity” movement. I helped her pick out clothes that felt comfortable to her. I covered the mirror when she showered so she wouldn’t have to see her body. My daughter was seemingly happier, her anxiety level had decreased, and she was able to trust me and have a close, loving relationship with me again. I decided that maybe the therapist was right: this radical “acceptance” really was key to improving our relationship.

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Soul Searching

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Soul Searching

Having been a far left progressive my entire life, a bisexual who married another woman before it was legal, I had not given much thought to the recent widespread emergence of trans activism and acceptance other than to think, fantastic, another group gaining civil rights. I vaguely wondered why there were so many trans kids when I had never before heard of this phenomenon in childhood, but I assumed increased visibility came from decreased stigma. I was confident that rigorous psychiatric evaluation must precede any gender reassignment procedures, to address any confounding issues. I celebrated people being accepted for who they are. LGBTQ is my tribe, and social justice is my religion.