My daughter Nina is incredibly brilliant and suffers from both depression and anxiety. She is also very, very sensitive and champions social justice issues. She went to an alternative high school and college where there were many gay and trans kids. In fact, at her high school, straight kids were probably the minority of the population. She also has a slightly older friend from middle school who decided to become a man, also someone you would never suspect of being trans. In high school, my daughter spent a lot of time on the computer as well. At first, she announced she was pan-sexual, dated a few girls but ultimately had her first serious relationship with a boy. In college, she had a long-term relationship with a lovely boyfriend (someone who was supposedly gay) that has just recently ended.
In high school Nina saw a wonderful therapist who challenged her constantly on her many beliefs and paths. We've seen this therapist many times and she never felt that Nina was trans, just that she had intellectually talked herself into it. Nina was constantly trying out new roads. One day she was going to be a doula, the next she was going to be a skateboarder. Her adviser in high school knew Nina well and saw that she would constantly be trying out all these different identities and knew that he couldn't steer her. He just had to let her try.
She has asked to be called a boy's name for the last couple of years. Last year she asked us to call her a "he." She has been taking testosterone for 2 years (which my husband and I are opposed to) and is now showing facial hair and a lowered voice. She managed to get testosterone from a clinic without our support. She is now on an SSRI which really seems helpful.
Nina has been going to a therapist near the college for 2 years as well. She asked us to come to therapy with this therapist last week, which we did. It's obvious to me that this therapist never challenged her on this path.
Nina now wants to do top surgery which my husband and I are really, really opposed to. The therapist seems to be backing Nina's decision, which I feel is absolutely criminal. The therapist also said that Nina would go ahead with this without our support, implying that we were abandoning her. My husband angrily contradicted her on this since we would never abandon our kid. This therapist also said she didn't think Nina would ever desist being a man, which my husband also challenged her on. It's amazing that someone who has only known our kid for 2 years would think they know her better than parents who have known her all her life. It's obvious to me that this therapist is just following the script that has been the recommended path for therapists. I cannot tell you how upset this makes me.
As a kid, Nina was never a tomboy. She wore pink, she played with dolls, hated athletic endeavors, hated competition and never displayed any signs of any kind of masculinity. She was a bookworm, musician/artist and a nerd, would read for hours and hours and retain it all. It wasn't until puberty that she displayed any discomfort with her body.
From middle school on, Nina knew how to successfully wrap adults around her little finger. She confessed to us that she knew she could manipulate adults, especially her teachers. She seems to have managed to bamboozle this therapist as well.
I feel as though the zeitgeist glorifying trans people has totally overtaken my kid. I feel that this is like a cult and the psychological community and the press are just amplifying it.
And I don't know what I can do about it.